sad.

time come with a package on me which is self-abased(自卑). currently living in 80% of my lala peaceful world and the rest of the 20% when come into my practical life where people around me start to communicate and interact with me or when we were out-going to else where. We human begin is living all alone and everytime have their own timing. when one's person whose wrong timing match another person wrong timing, the outcome is 50:50. it's just like the negative multiply br negative will give u positive. but when one's person whose wrong timing match another person right timing, the flower will nv bloom at the correct timing, it is either too early or too late. And one's person correct timing match with another correct timing person, everything will go smoothly on expect when another 3rd party inferior in btw, it's the test to see if both the correct timing one really match together with strong love, bond, trust, and then blalala. then i see my self as always the wrong timing one as it is a failure for me to call and date people out that easily. when u got rejected once, u might want to try it again for the 2nd time, 3rd time ... ... ... 10times and then u found the perservance couldnt work at this moment of time. it the fate that always put me in the wrong timing. as time go further... people is climbing the stair up one step by one step to achieve what they want however i am in the opposite of those people. this is how self-confident and self-esteem start to decrease layer by layer. and when it is got, most of the fear will come and disturb him and he will start to get into depression and thinking of those unloaded question. then when he predict the answer to his question, he starting to get emo and scared of others. it is very much true that people really need alot of support, care, concern and encourage each other to live on. but in this practical and relistic world like singapore, many people just care for themselves. despite how much u care and concern for them, they treat u like a person who really doesnt exist in this world. when they need u for help, howcome they would suddenly think of my existing at the first place? izzit those people u looking forward to help u? and when i really need back ur help ... where the hell r u? when u always give people the dissapointment ... how would one's feel? people alway having a high expectating for this for that. just imagine of a lonely people ... they also have a normal expectating like others but when come directly incontact with people, the expectation of his have been lower and lower.
just something to think about, when u dont have a single friend, the single friend u could make would make u more than happen enough. but for those who have friends then girlfriend will be the next target. maybe one girlfriend would be enough ... need a few more to pick so that can have more choice. after picking a girlfriend as wife, when r u going to have a family of 3? family of 4? possible? career advancement? job-hopping? earn millions dollars in life? y not for every moment that we have, especially when there are people who really concern and care abt u and make sure u exist in this world, treasure and appreciate them instantly.