marcus problem.

Random question passes through my mind:

1. How can one make me trust one's is my true friend?

2. Is there really factor such as Forever Friendship or Forever Enemy?

3. Should I have a talk with marcus?

4. Should I accept marcus?

5. If I would make compromises toward him, would he do the same toward me too?

6. What if some problem occur in future again?

7. Is the consequences I going to face greater than now?

8. Should I really classify people accordingly?

9. Is my biasness fair to my surrounding people?

10. How people treat me and I will treat back them the same way?

11. Rather to be lonely or open up for togetherness?

12. Should I protect myself up or get stabbing/hurting from others?

What should I really do? No direction at all.

Maybe time is the best healer.

and time will give us the result.

analyse the problem needs time.

Let recap back:

01/07/2008
m: my first priority is hongwei
m: i like his big dick
m: =.=
m: and his hairy ass
m: so i stick to him
m: like superglue
m: and I don't mind it when you call me gay
m: because I <3 Hong Wei 1314
m: 3344..
m: heh
hw: FUCK
m: O.o
me: enough?
m: lawl
m: very funny mah
m: hahahaha
m: wth sia
me: ur speech of freedom
m: k noted
me: see
me: marcus korkor is going to be biased again
m: are you the real qinzhi?
m: oh shiet..
m: LAWL
m: y ya
m: you can prioritize hong wei
m: why I cannot prioritize ann or jason or henry?
m: why?
m: because what
m: you gay ijit
m: =.=
me: i can also priortise marcus korkor if u want
m: nehmind
m: chiu can stick to hong wei
me: special request
m: ^^
j: LOL
j: -_-
m: from now till eternity
m: in sickness and in health
me: at least there is concern and care
me: as a human
j: -_-
me: 人之初，性本善
m: engrish pl0x
me: i bet marcus korkor wont understand
m: srsly la
m: we all know you is prioritize hong wei
m: we follow you
m: cannot meh?
m: i prioritize jason
me: i also noe u priortise jason ma
m: why cannot?
j: LOL
m: why?
me: can la
me: y cannot
me: i nv say cannot
m: then?
m: why make so much noise =.=
me: did u hear me say cannot?
me: did i
j: -_-
me: ??
m: then why you make so much noise?
m: say what
me: u r the one who making noise for me
m: i biased
m: everytime say so loud
m: say what
m: ANN MROE IMPORTANT LOR
m: say till so sarcastic
me: i like say waht
m: please
me: cannot arh
m: you don't have to say it directly
m: we can hear
m: from the TONE
m: we aren't tone deaf
m: we aren't retards
m: oh please
m: seriously
m: and you always make fun of me
m: calling em rich kid
m: saying all the bullshit
m: saying i screw ann all day long
m: saying i will retain
m: saying this and that
m: every little thing I do
me: not happy not happy
m: i get criticised
me: lor
me: i also ma
m: you know how difficult is it?
m: oh come on
m: seriously
me: same go for me too
m: please just change can?
m: i won't criticise you if you hadn't made me look like a fool
me: u want me to change for u
m: not for me
m: FOR YS
m: US*
m: US
m: for goodness sake
m: please
m: it's not a YOU
m: it's and US
m: there is a difference
m: I'm not a selfish prickly brat
me: sorry i cant do that
me: u not happy
me: u business le
me: i rather live peacefully
m: we can't live peacefully if you keep criticising us
INSPIRED HW(I) - ...I also 12 days....Muwhahhaha has left the conversation.
m: seriously
m: what i do with ann
m: or what I buy
m: or when i go out with my friends
m: or what I do with my friends
m: or what i eat
m: or whether I come to school or not
j: we left
m: isn't that my liberty?
j: he*
m: only hong wei left
m: .=

03/07/2008
me: at least i know my hongwei korkor treat me better than how jason treat u.
me: and dun ever compare me with jason.
m: just say hongwei
m: why do you have to use the word
m: "kor kor"
m: why why why?
me: if not have not creating enough trouble ...
m: why do you have to add the kor kor behind?
m: it's very dedundant and it sounds wrong
me: it's my business
m: ok
m: call him in your own privacy
m: y do u have to care so much what i call him
m: not infront of us?
m: hello?
m: you know how gay it sounds
m: seriously
me: den u can just close ur ear
m: you don't even know how jason treats me
m: and please
m: no one needs special treatment
me: as if
m: at least jason doesn't ignore my calls on purpose
me: for u
m: and I don't bother jason by calling him 24/7
m: and such
m: how about you?
me: that is what u know from surface
m: if it is already so gay on the surface
me: i jus dun bother to care so much
m: i really can't imagine what is it actually like
me: ok
m: how about making senseless comments?
me: i have enough from u ...
m: like calling us rich and all that whenever we spend money
m: hello
me: u happy also can
m: i only get 350 bucks a month
m: ok
me:not happy also can
m: now it's not me leh
m: whatever u like to say
m: zzzz
m: i can't believe i say so much
me: i am not as free as u complaining so much also
m: and these are the only words you can tell me?
m: then chat with hong wei very free la
me: so...?
m: like i said
m: even if he is your best friend
me: i told u already
m: do you have to tell the whole world about it?
me: whatever u like u say
m: EXCUSE ME
m: i am ranting
m: ABOUT YOU
me: i am not like jason going to bother about it so much
m: and you don't even give a damn?
m: hello?
m: we bother about what people say about us
m: because we want to become better people
m: how about you?
me: den go bother lor
m: stop dwelling in insolence
m: and arrogance
me: i just dun bother
m: please
me: i rest have enough
me: *really
m: what don't bother?
m: is it too much for you to start with?
m: we just tell you where you need to change
m: and you give us attitude?
m: hello?/
m: ?
me: dun we here and ther
m: what is this man
m: do you even take us as friend?
me: only we
me: we
me: we
me: we
me: we
m: me and jason and hong wei
m: three of us
m: do you even take us as friends?
m: hong wei dare not speak up to you
m: because he scared
m: you will cannot take it
m: ok
m: truth is
m: we all find you very well..
m: you know la
m: abit too intimate
m: and not in a good way
me: forget it
m: what forget it?
m: telling to forget about a friend?
m: i'm sorry
m: i can't do that
m: i'm just telling you
m:to change
m: as a friend
m: for our sake
m: is that too difficult?
me: u can say until u happy
m: you know why am I afraid to see you?
m: you know why am I so afraid when you touch me?
m: you know why?
m: ask yourself
m: your actions
m: your words
me: then dun c
m: not that i want to
m: what don't see
m: sorry
m: like I said
m: once i know a person
m: i know that person for life
m: i can't just pretend the person don't exist at all
m: i know for you
m: hong wei is enuff
m: not for me
m: i don't want to lose a friend
m: but i swear
m: there are things that you do
m: that makes me very scared
m: very very scared
m: understand or not?
m: it
me: whether u exist today anot as my friend... i still have to move forward
m: it's not like
m: i can hide it
m: you can choose to move forward
m: everyone has to
m: and even now
m: we are in the process of moving on
m: each second
m: whatever it is
m: i really just want you to change
m: please?
m: i can see that
m: when hong wei is around
m: and when he isn;t
m: you are two different persons
m: i think you know that too
m: even ann can sense that ok
m: please la
m: instead of just ignoring me
m: can you please
m: put some thoughts into my words?
m: please qinzhi please
m: i beg you ok?
m: need me kneel down infront of you or not?
m: please
me: oh ... i am not worth for u to kneel down
me: and i am not that big
m: but you get my idea right?
m: seriously please la
m: haiz
m: nevermind
m: i'll just pray that either i get over it
m: or you'll put thoughts into my words
m: please
m: i hate to lose a friend
me: we shall see
me: as if i like to

It's sound very contradicted. I am confused.

Am I a valueless friend to your?!....

It's time to do some soul-search in me.